A few weeks ago I told you that, of all the ways to relate, monogamy was the one that suited me the most.
Although it is true that, as I say as soon as I start to get to know someone better, if David Beckham walks through the door offering me a night of passion, I’m single.
Ok, I’m just saying this as a joke because I know it’s pretty unlikely to happen. But the fact that I have that mentality about being exceptional if my celebrity platonic love appears, or if it is something that happens to my partner (who is a Spanish actress and has it easier just because of the distance), is something that she contemplates. a variant of monogamy.
What is known as ” monogamish” , which comes from joining “monogamy” and ” ish ” (“almost” in English), is a type of pact that allows sexual encounters, very occasionally, within monogamy . That exception is the joke I make about having a ‘free pass’ with our celebrity crushes (although in between jokes, the truth looms). The term monogamish was coined in 2011 by the journalist specialized in sex Dan Savage to define this situation, but also a possible formalization beyond the meeting with our famous crush .
That is, it is the pact that “bonding takes precedence over any external connection, but that occasional flings are acceptable and perhaps even desirable to keep the flame burning” It can be, by agreement, from having third parties from time to time to a night where anything goes.
According to the book Promiscuous Ethics, it would be a good alternative for people who don’t want to jump into polyamory, but are attracted to the excitement of having an “occasional dalliance outside of their relationship.” What should be remembered is that, no matter how rarely this story happens outside of the monogamous relationship, emotional and logistical management must be done equally.
That is to say, within monogamish you also have to honestly communicate your wishes, work on managing jealousy and set limits -for example, that the meeting is not in the flat where the couple lives. Without forgetting the planning of when it is going to be done, so that it does not affect another commitment that was going to be made with the couple (so that it continues to feel that it is the priority).
Now that you know what it’s about, would you propose it?